Book 1, Chapter 88

The advanced research specialist – an alien designated Z3thr0, whom I shall refer to as Zethro, gurgled deep in his throat. “High One,” he said, “I ask that you disregard E1r0y’s outburst. He does not speak for our team.”

The commander tilted her head in consideration. Initiative was not valued within the empire’s research caste. “Why have you brought your observations to me directly?” she asked E1r0y – whom I shall refer to as Elroy.

“Respectably, High One, my contributions to our research have been systematically disregarded due to my lack of seniority,” Elroy said. “The majority of my colleagues’ research has been based on a physical study of captured specimens – I however, have never been given physical access to said specimens. As such, my findings have been based on recordings of the humans’ behavior – supplemented by their own media.” Elroy bobbed his head apologetically. “The discipline I have been forced to pursue is, I admit, more speculative than a physically-based science. But the sheer volume of broadcasts polluting the space around this planet has given me innumerably more data – and variety thereof – to examine. I predicted this escape based on my study of terran ‘action flicks.’ I was ignored, to our detriment. But I believe my understanding of human behavior exceeds that of the senior research team members, and as our leader you need that understanding to inform your decisions.”

The alien commander pursed her lips in consideration. “Speculative” was not a word often used by members of the empire’s research caste.

“Very well, E1r0y,” she said. “Provide your analysis of our captives, and I will give it due consideration.”

Et Alia, Book 1: Aliens, Ninjas, Demons and Pie

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