Book 2, Chapter 003

Lieutz was – when he wasn’t drunk – a very philosophical man. And while Fifi was threatening Ean in his living room, Lieutz was centered in an ever increasing universe within the confines of his mind.

The Advaita Vedanta teaches, he thought as his awareness of the universe expanded, that all things are one. Moreover, it teaches that multiplicity itself is an illusion, and false. That in truth, there is only Brahman.

Stars flickered and spiraled around him. I am Brahman. You are Brahman. The earth and stars and sun and moon are Brahman; the soul is Brahman and God is Brahman.

A thought flickered just at the edge of his struggling understanding. He seized on it, and the universe that was centered around him – his grasp of enlightenment – grew.

Beer is Brahman.

His universe staggered. With it, his grasp on enlightenment wavered. But he pursued the thought regardless.

All things are Brahman, and Brahman contains all things. Enlightenment is Brahman.

His thoughts spun, and he pushed his misunderstanding further.

Enlightenment is Brahman, and Brahman contains Beer. And containing Beer leads to drunkenness. Thus, Enlightenment is at least a little tipsy.

There was a pause while universes spun in Lieutz’ mind. Then, he came to a more pertinent question – to him – than True Understanding of The Meaning of Everything.

So why the fuck am I sober?!

Et Alia, Book 2: Black Magic, Secret Agents, Shakespearean Tragedies and Interoffice Dating

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